HUMOUR

The Bits About Parenting They Don’t Tell You About

Anna Garcia

Becoming a parent is one of the most incredible experiences in life. But what do you do when the miracle baby you’ve been praying for turns out to be a high maintenance diva with enough Oscar-winning tantrums to belong in Hollywood? You write a book about it.

I must admit, I pictured my transition into parenthood much like a fairy tale. Just like the glossy magazines and the Huggies commercials, I would only have fun times ahead (and perfectly blow-waved hair).



No one mentioned the sleepless nights, hunger strikes, poo dramas and tantrums in all colourful shapes and forms.

So when reality hit me, I turned to my husband and said, ‘Put the baby back in my tummy!’ I was a much better parent when Allegra was inside me. 

At the time I thought I was the only person struggling and something was wrong with me. I later discovered this was normal. So I wrote and illustrated a light-hearted book that shares the bits about parenting most books leave out.

Put the Baby Back in my Tummy: When Parenthood is Not Quite as Expected reassures parents they aren’t they aren’t alone in their struggles.  By sharing Allegra’s many diva stories, I hope I give people something to smile about. 

Here is a snippet from my new book:

‘This was followed by an epic sandstorm tanty right in the heart of the busiest section of Waikiki beach. After telling Allegra it was time to leave, she began screaming, performing a fireworks display using sand. As usual, Sheldon and I did our evacuation process, taking ten steps back, camouflaging in the crowd like we didn’t know her. 

The spectacle was so moving that an American stranger yelled out loud to Allegra, “You must be a movie star. And ACTION!” 

On cue, she screamed her little head off, whirling flying sand everywhere. She eventually calmed down and, finally, hugged us with tears, saying, “I’m sorry”. 

The same man was so moved that he said, “Aw. I like how this movie ended”.

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